Insert Name

As I grow older, I become less sociable. I don’t hang out with friends, unless there is a gathering. Most of the time, I prefer to be alone, if not I will only be with the same group of friends. I am very careful with who I hang out with cos I can’t deal with nonsense like my younger days.

During a gathering, someone will somehow bring up this question “Hey, are you in touch with <insert name> ?”

Or someone will somehow come up with something like “Hey, do you know that <insert name> is / have / went to … bla bla bla?”

My usual reply was “Who is <insert name> ? Don’t know, don’t care.”

That can be quite a cocky respond.

Not that I have forgotten , but I really don’t care much. The source of information of <Insert name> usually comes from Facebook. Over the years of using Facebook, I’ve learn that people only post what they want you to gossip see onto social media.

This morning, I was browsing through feeds of  video of cute and stupid animals playing with hammocks and swings, I came a cross a name and I wondered, who the fuck is this? I tapped on the name  and it brought me to the profile and I scanned through all the profile pictures and photos (CSI mode on) – Ok, this person looks familiar. I know this person but I don’t know this person. A tap on the “Mutual friends” – Ah.. I see.  Someone whom I’ve met 8 years ago and never seen after that.

I think my age is really catching up. My memory is failing slowly. Dear friends, please drop me a message on my mobile phone once in a while so that I remember you, or we should hang out once in a while. Please don’t let us become another <insert name>.

That said, this new year, new Cock Year, I wanna be very careful in picking the right cock friends to hang out with, so that I will have lesser cock-up friendships.

Happy Cock Year. May you have many cocky moments!

 

 

 

Yours Sincerely, really?

There are those who genuinely wanted to help, and there are those who help in exchange for some other benefits.

Nothing wrong with either one, mind you. Both are still help given to the person who needed it.

But what I am looking for is that sincerity.

I’ve heard many people or friends who said this to me – they signed up for the volunteer program cos they need to clock the hours.

I remember signing up for a volunteer initiative for a company. Our job was to go around the retailers to help clean up the shop front, so it involved a lot of moving of stock and cleaning. Basically, sweating ourselves out and dirtying our hands.

It was a job that require at least 6 pax, however due to the low sign up rates, we only had 4 in  every team – so this means we are short-handed.

And there was this man – who would stand in one corner doing almost next to nothing. He would take the easiest task and be on his mobile phone most of the time. I asked, why did he sign up for the program? His response was he needed to do it to show to his boss but he has no interest at all.

That made my blood boil. This is where i would be so mad and I start to question his existence.

So, which one is you? The one who genuinely want to help, or the one who help in exchange for something?

Rich, for better or for worse?

You know the thing about money…
It changes you for better or for worse.

Would you rather be rich in wealth or rich in life?

My husband always like to tell everyone that he is rich, in life. He believes that there are many things that are priceless and couldn’t be purchase with money.

I on the other hand, is practical. But I can say I am richer in life than in wealth.

The same question – if you win a lottery of $1 million, what would you do?

The first thing I will do is pay off the debts, and then quit my job, move to UK and enroll into a school and do my full time studies in arts. But that damn house my husband is eyeing on.

And I will think about what do to with the rest of the money later.

 

Emptied.

 

Logged in here.

Finding things to blog.

There’re so many things in my head, yet I can’t find the strength to type much. I wish someone can read what’s going on in my head, and tell me I will be okay.

I just want to do nothing.. go away, lay on the beach, listen to the sea waves, feel the breeze..

 

Will be back here when i feel better to rant.

 

 

Pondering.

I’m pondering.

If I should get back to this space and carry on from where I stopped.

 

Or start another one all over again.

Phase 1: Booking the ticket

It is raining cats and dogs while I am typing this. If this goes on for another 10 hours, we will all have to start rowing to get out of here.

It has been so long since I’ve danced my fingers on a keyboard. I thought I would have forgotten how to use a keyboard but it doesn’t seem to be the case. How lucky I am!

Typing feels so good, but not as good as writing on the papers with a pencil. I love to hear the sound of the pencil making its marks on the paper. Then again, I love the sound of the finger tapping against on the keyboard’s keys. Alright, I know, I know, I am hard to please!

A belated Happy New Year to you! Way too belated.  A happy Saturday to you! So where do I begin?

(Still can’t believe) It has been four months since my last entry! I’ve been left busy ever since then until last week. So I thought I should start being diligent again to update this blog.

Currently, I’m looking into booking my flight to UK, and then sell some stuffs away at home, and pack my stuffs, say my goodbyes to the people I love and then leave this place to reunite with the love of my life in UK.

Anyways, I will update again once the ticket is booked.

Ciao!!

 

p.s: Apologies for the abrupt ending to the entry. I need to pee.

Wow!!

Wow!! I’m in again!

I spent the past 15 mins trying to recall the username and password. Thank god my 31 years old brain didn’t fail me!

It was really great to be reading my past entries and I felt alot better especially reading entries of my travels around Thailand.

I’m gonna be active again  on this space because I will have more free time on hands in 30 day’s time.

Reunion is good. Can’t wait!

I’m not your necessity.

One of those usual nights where I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep.

And my mind wandered off from almost everything to nothing. I felt pain in my body and my soul.

I had the urge to scream. And I did. I grabbed the pillow so hard as though I was going to rip it apart, I let out a silent yell into the pillow.

I’ve been a toilet paper to too many people in my life. I’m useful only when you need to shit and not needed when you ain’t shitting.

Or that 3G / 4G service you should at least have on your smart phone.

I’m gonna remove your toilet paper and 3G service from your life. F*ck you.

Progress Check – FAIL.

Wow. Last entry dated 28 March. 

Where have I been? 

What happened to the desire to want to update this blog daily? 

I’ve been too busy with other’s lives that I neglected my own. 

 

There are just too many things that I’ve set early this year to accomplish and doing a progress check, I’m at 0% – 10% accomplishment.

Bad girl, Sammie. 

 

 

Hello Goodbye, Hello Goodbye!

Last year, I had the opportunity to chair the 10th camp for CampVision. It was a successful and impactful camp. Someone texted me this evening telling me he bumped into a youth who went to the camp last year and he was sharing with alot of his school mate how CampVision has empowered, enlightened and inspired him.

This year, I have the opportunity to perform with a a group of youths from the camp who willingly share their stories through stage production.

The theme for this year is “Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye”.

A youth at risk in my younger days, being lost and confused most of the time, and had no one to listen to my story, I would now love to plea to you (again) to come spend the afternoon with us and hear their story. All they wanted is someone to hear, and also a platform for them to share, let go and move on.

 

The ticket is at $10 each and all ticket sales goes to cover the expenses and venue rental. There are three time slots,
2pm, 3pm and 8pm (family) on 20th April 2014.

Pls email me at Samantha.leo@gmail.com if you like to come support us.

do spread this around!