Running away

Dug a note out that I wrote to myself almost four years ago (how time flies). The fact that I could still recall I wrote such note meant that It was very impactful, and it still is even reading it again after so many years.

Reposting this to remind me to stop running in circle.

Over the years, I’ve learned that no matter how fast and how far you run away from your problems, the problems are still there. The thing about problems is they are there for you to solve. There’s a reason why problems surfaced in your life, they are there to help you be a stronger person. If the problems are not meant to be solved, then they are not considered problems at all.

I have a problem which I’ve been facing all this while. I’ve been sweeping it under the carpet and try to ignore it. Today was the final call, I no longer have the energy of running away from it, I no longer have the energy of sweeping it under the carpet. I’m going to face it.

The lesson that I’ve learned this time round, don’t let history repeat itself again.

Nope, please do not come and ask me what problem is it.

No matter how tough life is, no matter how low you’ve hit, no matter how bad you’ve fallen, there will be a day when things will get better if only you allow yourself to move on.. And by running away from the problem, ignoring it and not wanting to do anything about it just cos you do not have the courage, things will not get better on it s own. I’ve learned that you need to put in efforts to get that pot of honey if you want to taste something sweet in the end.

The reason why many of us are fearful and worrisome of the uncertain, of what’s going to happen if we were to take this step forward is because we’re afraid of losing what we had, or not getting what we expected ourselves to get in the end. I’ve learned that all of us (or at least myself) started off with nothing, so there’s nothing much to be afraid of. As long as we’re contented with what we have, strive and reach out for whatever that is within our means, I’m sure things will be fine and we will get by.

A few weeks back, I thought to myself that “How great, everything’s back to square one! And I have to start all over again!”. I take that back. That’s not true. Everything’s not exactly back to square one. I’ve learned a great deal over these few years and I am now equipped with life skills, and I’m street smarter than before. I’ve met the good and nasty ones, I’ve fallen many times, gotten up many times. I’ve enjoyed the process of falling down.

Life is beautiful, no matter how many times it had disappointed me. What would be most disappointing is if I continue to believe that life shouldn’t be this way. On this night, when everything’s in a mess and I’m still having a bit of sanity in myself and being able to smile to myself, I’m grateful.

Lately, my common topic of conversations revolved around how easily I am to be taken advantage of by people around me. My common response would be “nah, it’s ok”. Yes, I’m really ok with it as long as I do not have to put in an extra effort to make myself a huge advantage to people. If it helps the person, make the person’s day, why not? It doesn’t kill or harm me.

I always tell myself, “Sammie, be brave, have faith and believe. Go for it.” I don’t want to forget to tell myself that anytime. I want to be repeating that to myself everyday. I want to remember to smile no matter how bad times are. If you could smile even when the times are bad, that smile is priceless. That spirit is wholesome.

I’m still learning how to be a strong person, for myself and for the love ones around me.

There will be times when you’ve grown tired and weary of the battle that had been going on for life, and you so want to give up. Don’t give up, take a break, enjoy whatever that’s coming to you. Take a break, rest your body, rest your mind and soul. Ask yourself what was it that brought you to where you are, and ask yourself if this is still what you want. If the answer remains to be the same as what you’ve set out for, then take a longer break and get ready to dash forward after that.

If things are no longer the same as what you’ve wanted in the first place, it is ok. I believe that it is alright for you to give up (but not all the times!) cos there’s no point running against the wall and getting yourself bruised, injured and out of energy.

And if you’r reading this, and you’re facing problems of your own.. just remember.. things will be better if you want it, and you let it to be. 15th July: Solitude

About Sammie Leo

Taking a break and travelling a bit.
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